Tag Archives: god

Maybe I’m missing something here: Some thoughts on “community,” the city and the gospel

Posted on by
1

500_LIGHTS

This week our Grace Gathering (a Grace Toronto Church bible study) was talking about values, and what values we think our city has, and what kinds of values we should have as a group of Christians in the city. One of the values we talked about was “community,” which seems to get a lot of lip service, but I think I really understand it.

In the broadest sense, “community” is an organized group of people with a set of values or a group in a certain location (thanks wikipedia!), or more specifically, people who share “intent, belief, resources, preferences, needs, risks” and other factors.

From that article, I also found Scott Peck’s description of community building, from a “pseudo-community” to “true community,” which as an end result, sounds like an awesome place to be:

True community: the process of deep respect and true listening for the needs of the other people in this community. This stage Peck believes can only be described as “glory” and reflects a deep yearning in every human soul for compassionate understanding from one’s fellows.

Personally, I think I’ve been involved in various different types of communities over the span of my life. Some went deeper than others, but I think groups like Beavers/Scouts when I was in elementary school, Beyond Existence (youth group) in high school, and Campus Crusade for Christ when I was in university, all provided a true “community” type environment.

However, leaving Kingston and Belleville behind and moving to Toronto, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt a part of a community in the same way as those experiences. Like many people in Toronto, I wasn’t born here, I didn’t have family here, and I really had to find my own way to figure out where I belong (still haven’t achieved that though).

And in Toronto especially, I’ve noticed that jobs/careers don’t seem to foster community either; most people will hardly ever spend recreational time with co-workers outside of the job site, and instead lead fairly fragmented lives.

I’m guilty of this: I have my “working” life, my married life, my church life, my family life, my sports life, and my arts life, which overall, doesn’t seem to crossover so much. I see coworkers during the day, my wife in the evenings, my church friends on Tuesdays and Sundays, the TFC on Saturdays, my family every other month, but I never really do any one of those frequently enough to develop or foster true community.

Perhaps part of my problem is physical location: I live on Danforth East, go to work on Queen West, go to church on Queen East, check out football in Parkdale and do shows in Kensington… it’s all downtown, but it’s also very, very spread out. But as more and more friends move out to Danforth East, and more interesting bars/coffee shops/restaurants open up in the hood, and maybe someday even a Grace Toronto church plant move out there, maybe I’ll feel like it’s a true community?

Maybe that’s why a group like The Society in Toronto, a community which people pay to join, and in exchange are cultured and entertained, can exist and be successful (though at times, it seems like this is a short cut to authentic community).

Though I love the internet and the mass dissemination of information it has created, I also feel like it has eroded the idea of community as much as it has fostered it. The internet allows me to find other people who love Pedro the Lion just as much as I do, but it also gives me a sense of false community through Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, where my “real” friends dwell, but is also bolstered by a large group of “fake” friends too.

There are exceptions though: there does seem to be a rabid shoring up of communities in the downtown music scenes, with groups like Wavelength, Pitter Patter and Two Way Monologues, bringing musicians and music fans together, as well as big events like Caribana and Pride, and even the countless marathons that jam up traffic all summer. But I wonder, that though there are communities developed there, they all seem to be “event” based more than anything else. Looking back to the “True Community” definition, I don’t think these groups apply.

When I explore my own mental health, and read about the experiences other people have had with anxiety and depression, I’m often overcome with emotion because it’s like I’m finally knowing that someone else has experienced what I have experienced, and in that knowing, there is some form of refuge: somewhere I can belong.

However, that refuge is not nearly as deep as the one I find in the gospel, where I can find the ultimate sense of belonging; one that will carry with me through every stage of life. To end this thought, I’ll leave you with a quote from Psalm 36, verses 7 to 9.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.

They stacked bibles on top of a black-and-yellow bass amp

Posted on by
1

500_stryper

Christian Metal. It’s hard to take seriously, though if any genre is compatible with the Christian church, it’s metal’s ornate virtuosity, the anguished cries, and front-men who can’t resist a messianic pose or two.

So with that said, the pinnacle of this particular genre is Stryper. Always has, and always will be. But I’m not here to give you a history lesson, which you can just wiki for yourself if you like.

First off, I have to say that I don’t like being negative when I write about music, especially Christian music, because I’m sure these guys are totally earnest and honest with what they are doing, so I don’t want to come across like I’m disrespecting that, nor do I want to disrespect the Sweet family in what has been a tragic year in their lives, and in that regard, my thoughts and prayers go out to them.

But ultimately, Michael Sweet and his band are the ones going out there on the road (for several weeks of shows) and asking people to buy tickets and other paraphernalia, so to that extent, I feel like it’s fair game to give my honest thoughts about my experience.

Which brings us to Sunday night, when Stryper came to Toronto on their 25th anniversary tour, which while a fun time, also smacks of being a real-life Spinal Tap (Spinal Tapian?) adventure.

Though this is the band’s 25th anniversary tour, and is touring with all four original members, it wasn’t exactly envisioned out that way. A “new” version of Stryper just put out an album called “Murder by Pride” and apparently they were going to do a split set, one with the “new” band doing the new stuff, then the “old” band doing classics for the anniversary. However, somewhere along the line the new bass player decided that he couldn’t take the time off of work for the tour. It was good news for fans anyways, because that means the original four members are doing a 90 minute set with no break.

For fans with deep pockets, the band has also been selling “backstage passes” for 50 bucks which lets fans check out the band’s soundcheck, a free copy of “Murder by Pride,” get 1 piece of Stryper gear signed, and I quote from their blog, “Get your picture taken with the band, using your own camera.”

Apparently for their stop in Toronto, all the passes were sold out, so obviously the demand for this kind of thing is there. However, it seems like anyone who went to this, didn’t write or post any of it online… I wish I knew someone who did, because it sounds so deliciously awkward.

Opening for the band that night were local Christian metal rockers Forevertree, who actually had a pretty decent modern rock/metal kind of sound, with some explicitly Christian lyrics, which I ultimately have to give them respect for. Despite being unknown by the older crowd there that night, they rocked excellently and won over as much of the audience as they were going to. If you’re curious, please give them a listen here.

Following them was one of the regular opening acts on this tour, a band called Flight Patterns, which you’ve never heard of before. Why? Because from what I can tell, is that their first official show was opening for Stryper on the first date of this tour, beyond that, the band has no official bio, just an EP on iTunes, a Tumblr photo blog (started a few weeks ago), and zero plays on last.fm.

So why are they on tour with Stryper? It turns out Flight Patterns features the guitar work of one Michael Sweet, Jr., son of the lead singer of Stryper. You can read Michael Sweet, Jr.’s first ever interview here if you’re curious.

Unfortunately, Flight Patterns is just not my kind of music… it’s more like a rock-jock emo kind of thing, and I’m not their target audience by any means (think Saves the Day or Hot Rod Circuit). Their singer Max Prussner was enjoyable, and I like his own recordings, but as for Flight Patterns, they were just not a good fit for the night.

If anyone from the band is reading this, please do the honourable thing and offer to go first for the rest of the tour… you seem like cool guys and I wish you the best of luck with your career, but please respect the other hardworking bands on your tour, bands like Forevertree, and offer to take the first place spot. Pay your dues.

Anyways, on with Stryper. They did indeed bring with them their classic stage setup to tiny Reverb at Queen and Bathurst (probably the grossest venue I’ve been to in a while), complete with Stryper banner and loads of black and yellow striped guitars and various “cabinets.” Though they were stamped with “MESA” logos, part of me suspects that some of them were dummy amps, meant to look impressive — not necessarily to push some air.

(Earlier that day the band’s massive van and trailer was clipped by a streetcar and blocked traffic for a while, which also sounds like a Spinal Tap like adventure, but I haven’t heard too many details about that).

Shortly before the band took to the stage, one of the crew came on stage to tell people that because of their “record label,” no one could take photos at all, except people with media passes, and only for the first three songs. This was pretty weird, not because of the media thing, because that’s actually a pretty common practice (thought not at the Reverb I imagine), but the fact that someone had to come on stage to announce this. Even worse, is that the band had a surly roadie that spent the entire set telling people with compact point-and-shoots to stop taking pictures. Nope, I’m not even kidding.

Worst of all? This apparently worked, because no photographic evidence of the band’s visit to Toronto seems to exist at all. Good for the band, I guess. As another aside: they seemed to have a disproportionately large crew for a venue that only holds 400 people, but I’m sure they were playing much larger venues other places on tour.

I also have to comment on the crowd: It seemed like the fans gathered were either 35 and up or 20 and under, and not really a lot of people aged in between. I even saw two teenagers that looked like they stepped directly out of “Heavy Metal Parking Lot,” complete with long, feathered hair and tight black-and-yellow leather jackets. There was also another elder metalhead who wore skull rings on every finger, an upside-down cross around his neck and bright orange and yellow bellbottoms. He looked famous, but I wasn’t quite sure who he was. I would have also bought a T-Shirt, but they were only selling the “anniversary” shirts and they cost 30 bucks. Yikes!

But I digress.

When Stryper finally came out (with a path cleared through the crowd by security guards) and took to the stage wearing their custom black and yellow outfits, when it came to the music they did not disappoint . Everything was flawless, from the solos to the singing: the band had stage presence, and rocked so much harder than anyone their age has the right of doing. I was too young to enjoy the band when they were at the height of their popularity, but I recognized in them during that performance everything that made them great, and why people were so dedicated to them, and why they even had a number one video on MTV. I could have done without the Boston cover, and more of “Breaking the Law,” but they were simply fantastic. I’m very glad and very thankful that they brought their tour through Canada, and if they ever came back for a 30th anniversary tour, I wouldn’t hesitate to go again.

Rob Bell’s first visit to Toronto

Posted on by
10

Rob Bell came to Toronto, but Toronto did not come to see Rob Bell.

The author, Mars Hill pastor and sometimes-controversial “Emergent” theologian, began his presentation called “Drops like Stars” on thoughts about suffering and creativity with the usual “where’s everybody from” kind of preamble people on tour often give.

Except the night got off to a weird start when he asked if people at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre were from Toronto, and he got a rousing “NO.” Muffled shouts from the audience later indicated that many were from London, Waterloo, Barrie, Burlington, and assorted other suburban communities well outside the 416 area code and beyond.

(Earlier in the night, I was riding the streetcar down to Exhibition Place, and I was the only person on board… this explains why. I guess it also explains why most people on time for the 8pm start and why there weren’t stragglers arriving all night long. I have a few thoughts on why that might be, like how the “Mars Hill” style — born in a suburb of Michigan — appeals primarily to suburbanites and not the sophisticated downtown intellectuals, or maybe the downtown core is simply and profoundly “un-churched,” but I will leave those ideas for a future post.)

Rob Bell is a very gifted, talented speaker, and despite his presentation being nearly two hours long, he easily holds the audience’s attention the entire time. I won’t go into the content too much here. The QET wasn’t sold out, but it was nearly full and I imagine next time he comes to town, he’ll likely sell out a much larger venue. Bell was accompanied by a handful of hilarious slides and video on a giant screen, and even had his own U2-esque theme music that bookended the night: During his final story, I kind of thought it was an annoying ringtone going off at first. With no “worship” time or prayer time, I don’t think it was intended to come off as a “church” type night.

The other strange thing I noticed, was during an audience participation moment, he looked at somebody and asked, “Are you taking notes? Cool, let me see!” Strange because, why wouldn’t he think people would take notes, right?

…Did I mention that “Drops Like Stars” is also the name of Rob Bell’s new book, and that this is the tour supporting that?

Before the presentation began I figured I would beat the line afterwards and pick up the amazingly designed hardcover version of the book.  After I bought a copy, one of the staff told me not to look at the end, because it would spoil tonight’s presentation.

Weird, I thought.

After looking at the book on the TTC ride home, I can see why: The presentation isn’t exactly an elaboration on the themes of the book; it’s basically Rob Bell reciting the whole thing, nearly line-by-line, image-by-image. No wonder he was surprised someone was taking notes… if you bought the book or were planning to, you were wasting your time.

(I’ll need a lot more time to expand upon a lot of the thoughts within the book itself, which is beautiful and engaging, but I’ll meditate on it a while first.)

I was also surprised about how much the night seemed to be like a “motivational speaker” type event, and not quite a “Christianity” type event… there was discussion about Jesus and the cross, but not as much as there was about art theory, and quotes from famous authors of different stripes.

One of the criticisms that people have with Rob Bell and the emergent movement in general, is that sometimes it lacks a strong foundation in the Bible itself. “Drops like Stars” on the surface seems like it suffers the same fate… beyond a retelling of the prodigal son story at the beginning, and a smattering of other quotes, it seems like Rob Bell is building his thesis from more non-Biblical sources.

(Another quick diversion: Why is this a bad thing? Because most Christians believe that the Bible is directly inspired by God, that he is directly revealed through it, and regular study of it will give you bring you closer to him. Basing Christian ideas and theories on things outside of God’s word is like building a house on a sandy beach, and it can trick believers into believing un-Biblical things. If you want to read more about some criticisms of the emergent movement, take a look at “Why We’re Not Emergent By Two Guys Who Should Be,” because they explain this kind of caution better than I can.)

The thing is, as a long-time Christian myself, I can tell that Rob Bell’s message is a Christian one, and I’m confident that you can find explicit Biblical references to most, if not all, of the points he makes… it’s just strange that he doesn’t. For the “post-Christian,” or the Christian sick of the modern-day church, I think this approach would appear refreshing — and it is. But I wonder about people who don’t know about Jesus… are they going to “get it” in the same way? Will they “get it” more? I don’t think it will be as clear to those people who don’t already have a fairly broad knowledge base.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable night, highlighted especially by the moments of audience participation. I was inspired, and it made me want to start creating new media type presentations for my own church. So if you are planning on seeing Rob Bell on the tour, by all means go… but if you haven’t bought a ticket yet, save your money and buy the book.

Oh, and for those who were there or read the book, I’m Will Ferrell too.

(Photo of Rob Bell and “The Squirrel” by Gbrenna)

Christian Life: The begininng of my spiritual journey

Posted on by
Reply

I realized the other day that despite all my years in online writing, I’ve never put together my full “testimony” online, especially because this is probably the most important story of my life… and for any other Christians out there reading this, I encourage you to do the same. We’re all called to share about how God has influenced and changed our lives, because it’s a powerful thing (Rev. 12:11) and it’s something we should always be doing (Acts 1:8).

And for you reading out there who don’t know what a testimony is? It’s basically a declaration of faith, the process of bearing witness or even just plain telling a story. When most Christians talk about it, they’re referring to what their life was like before knowing Christ, how they came to know him, and how he’s changed their life since.

Yes, it’s pretty heady stuff.

So where do I begin?

Part one.

When I was very, very young, my parents used to take our family camping at the Sandbanks park near Picton, Ontario, which rests on West Lake. To get there, we would pack up our things Friday nights in the family Astro minivan, spend our weekend getting sand all over the trailer, then drive back home across Prince Edward County (“The County”) Sunday night. One of those weird things I remember is the way that the light from the sunset would stream into the back of the van, all orange and red… light, but somehow very dark. And for some reason, those moments were bittersweet. At that young age, I think I was acutely aware of my own mortality, because I would feel a sense of dread and anxiety in that sunset, like an irrational fear of death and the unknown. (I still struggle sometimes to overcome that feeling).

I’m not exactly sure of the timeline here, but I’m still going to say while I was still very young, I remember having church as a presence in my life. My parents used to bring me to a nearby church, I believe Anglican or United, and I remember taking part in Sunday school classes.

I also remember doing a summer bible camp one year, held on the front yard of a neighbor’s house just a few doors down from mine on Maitland Drive in Belleville. I even remember going through the process of being “saved,” through the illustration of various colours of construction paper… black as the sin in my life, red as the blood of Jesus, snow white as the clean slate he’s given us, and gold for the treasures we have in heaven.

I remember praying with my mother, and seeing a little wood panel on the wall of a little boy kneeling by his bedside.

Part two.

At some point our family stopped going to church regularly. Maybe it had something to do with the deluge of hockey practices or being too busy… I’ve never really asked my parents why we started to go, so I guess it makes sense that I never asked why we stopped. We still went to the occassional mass downtown at Catholic church, but in general, that was it.

Part three.

When I was a teenager, I began to feel the call towards a spiritual awakening. Maybe it was arguing about atheism and relative morality on early electronic BBS message boards, or it could have been my newfound interest in Zen Buddhism. (Funny story: I once played a single note on the electric guitar for one hour at my guitar teacher’s instruction in order to learn vibrato… it was probably my only attempt at meditation). I read some books about Zen Buddhism… while interesting philosophically, it left me feeling hollow.

While this search was going on, I began talking about Jesus with a bunch of my friends from high school, arguing with them about things that I really didn’t know about. But in my search, I still wanted to give their Christianity a fair shake. My first exposure was at one of their youth group’s coffee houses (a popular type event in Bellevegas). I was even invited to perform!

The coffee house was held in the basement of a church called “Parkdale Baptist,” by their youth group called “Beyond Existence,” led by a staff of young adults from the church and a youth pastor named Terry Willows. I met a whole bunch of new people that seemed really cool, and they invited me to come and check out one of their Wednesday night meetings.

I eventually did, and they weren’t any different than what you would consider your usual youth group service… there was prayer, some worship and preaching from Terry. Looking back, Terry was a very gifted speaker, who had a level of enthusiasm for talking about Jesus that teenagers could connect with… he was also genuinely interested in engaging young people, asking them questions and trying to find thoughtful answers for theirs.

Over the following months I kept going to “Beyond Existence,” drawn in by the poetry of their worship music and the profound teachings from the bible, and even making more friends, better friends, with people I’d known from school. Terry took me out for lunch a couple times, and we’d have long talks about Jesus, answering any question I had. But for me, I still felt distant to the religion itself… I didn’t feel convicted to give my heart to Jesus, because I still wasn’t even really sure that there was a God.

Part four.

For some reason, this is the part I’m always a little shy about sharing, but in retrospect, this is how it happened, this is the path of events God chose for me, and you can’t change the past anyways. So here goes.

Before I was born, my parents had a giant Saint Bernard, but I don’t actually have any memories of that dog. However, when I was young, we ended up getting my first dog: A purebred English Bulldog named Ruby, for her dark red fur. She was a special addition to our family; everyone loved her and brought joy to everyone who laid eyes on her. I even remembered the way she would get so excited to see somebody, wagging her whole body back and forth instead of just her stumpy little tail.

After I was going to “Beyond Existence” for about six months, our dog Ruby became very ill, and developed a troubling protrusion from her rear end. It was a hard time for our family: everyone was rocked by her illness and were broken up by their inability to do anything about it. We all cried as it appeared that she might have to be put down.

On one of the last nights we would have her, I took her for a walk through the woods behind our house. It was in the middle of winter, and the night was clear, so you could see all the stars shining in the sky. While I was walking Ruby for what was likely the last time, I looked up at those stars, and I was immediately struck by an intense feeling I’d ever known before. I felt God’s presence descend upon me and comfort me in a way that I’d never felt before from another person… it was “divine revelation” and in that moment I was totally aware of God, I was totally aware of Jesus and I was totally aware of the Holy Spirit. That second I understood immediately what Jesus had done for me; sacrificed his own life to overcome death, so that we may one day we may be reborn in heaven.

The next morning, I remember it was a weekday, I went to the sanctuary at Parkdale Baptist by myself, not really sure of what to do next, but just feeling like I had to meet God there and speak to him one on one. I sat down in one of the chairs by myself, and prayed the prayer of confession and acceptance like I heard countless times before. Before I got up to leave, Terry, who happened to be in the office at the time, came out and I told him the good news. My friends were equally excited to hear about what happened, and it will always been one of the most peaceful, happiest, freeing moments of my life.

As for Ruby? Instead of putting her down, the vet tried a different operation instead, and she survived. We enjoyed many more happy days with that dog. It was a miracle.

Part five.

Since I came to know Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour, he’s been my rock, my salvation, my support and my healer. I’ve experienced many ups and downs on my spiritual journey, but through everything I face, I will always know that there is a divine plan for my life, one that I trust God has laid out for me. I believe the Holy Spirit dwells within me, and it helps me as I try to become a better person and perfect my faults, through the teachings of Jesus and his disciples. And yes, I still have a long, long, long way to go on that last one.

These days I’m currently involved with a church in downtown Toronto called Grace Toronto. We have bible studies and meet together Sunday mornings and evenings, and if you’d like to find out more, feel free to contact myself or anyone listed on the church’s website.

If you want to find out more about how you can know Jesus, and know God through the Holy Spirit, you can read more here on the Grace Toronto website, or you can look through this short pamphlet (now flash-ized) online here, called “The Four Spiritual Laws.” (I can fully vouch for this tract, which has been historically used by the Campus for Christ movement for years… it’s all Biblically sound, and applicable across all denominations, both Catholic and Protestant.) Of course, you can always get in contact with me and I’ll be more than happy to talk about it with you.