“Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, R. Kelly”

In the yearly tradition, I now give to you, friends, a recording in which we celebrate the spirit of Christmas and contribute to the canon of holiday music. As usual, it's a fairly ramshackle production, recording with one microphone and an old 8-track recorder. This record's recording was given a polish by my good friend and audio expert Dalton Holloway, who added his post-production skills to my meager records. Please get in touch with him if you are looking to have any kind of audio work done... he's the best.

This year's EP is entitled "Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, R. Kelly," and draws more from previous classics than originals, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Please feel free to share the files with anyone you like, or simply point them here. Merry Christmas!

• 1. "R. Kelly Has a Profound Religious Experience"
• 2. "All I Want For Christmas is You"
• 3. "Silent Night"
• 4. "Mary's Boy Child"
• 5. "Angels from the Realms of Glory"
• 6. "Jingletune the Bells (I'm on a sleigh)"

(Download the whole thing as a ZIP file here)

Previous Christmas EPs for download:

• "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells: 2008 Christmas Extravaganza"
• "Tyrone and Dorothea sing Christmas Songs 2007"

Illuminatory notes:

• This album cover is a loving tribute to the cover of an awesome Steppenwolf album cover.
• I'm a HUGE R. Kelly fan. For "R. Kelly Has a Profound Religious Experience," I've referred to R. Kelly's previous Chicago mansion, which you can read about here (yes, there's a picture of the hot tub). I've also looked over the Wikipedia page for R. Kelly's 2003 album to ensure it's factually correct. And to my knowledge, R. Kelly is very much alive and well. ("Untitled" is in stores now!)
• "Silent Night" does feature a sound clip from a "Slap Chop" commercial, and Ken Shaw's voice.
• The autotune featured in "Jingletune the Bells" is provided by the "I Am T-Pain" app on my iPhone, with the various synths also coming from other keyboard apps on the phone.

Here's the full text of the "Rap" at the end of "R. Kelly Has a Profound Religious Experience":

Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, R. Kelly
Chestnuts, New Year's, Festivus, R. Kelly
Rudolf, Frosty, Mistletoe, R. Kelly
Menorah, Fruitcake, Frankenscence, R. Kelly
Crosby, Hum Bug, Sleigh Rides, R. Kelly
Bethlehem, Candy Canes, Christmas Cards, R. Kelly
Angels, Sugar Plums, Egg Nog, R. Kelly
Stockings, Bells Ringing, B.B. Guns, R. Kelly
Wise Men, Boxing Day, Shopping Malls, R. Kelly
Train Rides, Dreidels, Ribbons, R. Kelly
Nativity, Santa Claus, Drinks, R. Kelly
Transiberian Orchestra Concert, R. Kelly
Angels, Snowmen, Christmas Cards, R. Kelly
Peppermint, East Star, Blitzen, R. Kelly
Burning Log, Radioshack, Snowflake, R. Kelly
Anything else holiday related, R. Kelly